The worst feeling in the world: Waiting for something that you know very well will never ever happen. Even though it is blatantly obvious, you continue to wish for it to happen… and it never will. You want to cry and you can’t and you want to walk away and say “fuck it” but you can’t. Why? Because even though he makes you feel like shit, he makes you feel better than you have ever felt before. When you are with him everything feels right and he brightens your day. Whenever you are close to letting go, he talks to you and you are drawn back in. It’s impossible to let go of the one thing you care so much about, because even if it breaks your heart to have him there, it’s better than him not being there at all. You know that you like him way more than he likes you and it sucks… it makes you feel worthless and stupid. You hear everyone say how jealous they are of you, but they fail to realize that you are falling apart… you are just good at putting on a show and making it seem like everything is okay. They don’t realize how close you are to calling it quits, how you come home everyday pick up your guitar and play sad love songs, and how you just sit there staring into nothing thinking about how you really fucked yourself over. People say you are obssessed, but when did falling for someone turned into the definition of being obsessed! You realize that everyone around you has it better off than you… either they are with someone who really shows they care are or they are single and content with it. But you…no you are stuck in the “what the hell is this” zone where everyday you fall for this person more and more but he doesn’t feel the same… and if he does… he doesn’t show it. If he doesn’t feel it you just want him to tell you, because it sucks having one person on your mind everyday and it sucks when you are willing to do anything for this person when he wouldn’t do the same for you. All you want to do is scream and yell at him, but what has he really done wrong besides not showing he cares… nothing. It’s just embaressing… the whole situation, because you feel like you are being played. And this is the one thing he promised he would never do. It sucks when your best friend tells you that you deserve more and what do you do…you make up excuses for the guy… valid excuses but you think “if he really cared for you, you wouldn’t have to be making excuses for him.” And at that point you are lost, unaware of what to do because either way you are heartbroken… but with one you have little bits of happiness. You still remember the first things he said to you when you met him up to the last thing he said to you. You replay the memories in your head and it makes you smile. But then you bring yourself back to reality and realize you are still screwed. You have always told yourself that if you care for someone so much, you would never give up… Love is worth it, its the closest thing to magic that you have. But when is it time to let it go and move on… that’s the big question because as much as you say you want to let go you can’t ever imagine yourself doing that.